Monday, August 2, 2010
IT IS AUGUST!
Today is the 2nd day of August, and it means that I am in my 18th month of my PHD research. Don't ask me about my progress since that is the last thing that I want to hear now. Whatever it is.. the past is behind and let us see what does the future hold for us. I am leaving it to Allah the Almighty, as He has laid the best plans for me. Oh Allah, please ease this journey. Ameen.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Back to life, Back to reality
I am back in Brisbane; was away for about 2 months for a (supposedly) preliminary data collection in Malaysia. I only spent about a week on my research and the rest was like a break cum holiday. I managed to catch up on things with my loved ones- family, friends and colleagues and really treasure every moment spent especially with my beloved hubby. Priceless. Well, at least I was able to finish a 2-page article proposal for a well known journal in the field that I am researching (I want to enjoy the holiday with less guilt).
It was hard to be separated again with my other half. I was in tears almost all the way from Shah Alam to Brisbane. As he has put it~intermittent shower in the morning, later drizzling and ended up with cats and dogs and a heavy storm. I know it was hard for him as well but this is the price that we need to pay. Sacrifice- that's the word! And I am recovering-slowly. Picking up my momentum. May Allah ease this journey and grant me (and him)strength! Ameen.
It was hard to be separated again with my other half. I was in tears almost all the way from Shah Alam to Brisbane. As he has put it~intermittent shower in the morning, later drizzling and ended up with cats and dogs and a heavy storm. I know it was hard for him as well but this is the price that we need to pay. Sacrifice- that's the word! And I am recovering-slowly. Picking up my momentum. May Allah ease this journey and grant me (and him)strength! Ameen.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Hikmah yang tersembunyi
Pengalaman kira-kira setahun berada di luar negara, menjadi seorang pelajar PHD sememangnya sungguh berharga. Prosesnya tidak mudah. Onak dan duri perlu ditempuh. Walaubagaimanapun, setelah setahun berlalu, tidaklah terlalu sukar untuk diharungi.
Bila kita berada diluar negara, cabarannya berbeza khususnya untuk pelajar-pelajar pasca siswazah (postgrad) yang rata-ratanya telah berkeluarga dan beranak pinak. Kekangan kewangan, masa dan gaya hidup yang berbeza menuntut pengorbanan. Dulu semasa saya menjadi pelajar undergrad di Cardiff, pengalaman sungguh berbeza. Maklumlah masa tu saya masih muda dan single, jadi masalah yang datang biasanya kecil dan mudah diatasi.
Tapi apa yang saya rasakan buat PHD didalam negara juga punya cabaran yang sangat besar, khususnya dalam membahagi-bagikan masa antara komitmen keluarga dan PHD research itu sendiri. Urusan keluarga sendiri dan keluarga sebelah mertua adalah sebahagian daripada perkara yang tidak dapat dielakan. Daripada kenduri kesyukuran, kenduri arwah, birthday party, kenduri kahwin dan sebagainya- semua perlu dihadiri. Itu belum lagi dengan proses mengumpul maklumat untuk kajian kes. Maklum sajalah- rasanya ramai yang sedar dan sinonim dengan tahap kerahsiaan maklumat yang ada. Semuanya "confidential".
Ringkasnya, setiap individu punya cabaran yang tersendiri. Destinasinya sama - segulung ijazah PHD, tapi laluannya berbeza. Semuanya perlukan pengorbanan yang mungkin tidak terjangkau fikiran semasa. Kepada Allah kita berserah dan panjatkan doa. Mudah-mudahan ada ganjaran yang menanti, jika tidak disini, disana pasti! InsyaAllah.
Bila kita berada diluar negara, cabarannya berbeza khususnya untuk pelajar-pelajar pasca siswazah (postgrad) yang rata-ratanya telah berkeluarga dan beranak pinak. Kekangan kewangan, masa dan gaya hidup yang berbeza menuntut pengorbanan. Dulu semasa saya menjadi pelajar undergrad di Cardiff, pengalaman sungguh berbeza. Maklumlah masa tu saya masih muda dan single, jadi masalah yang datang biasanya kecil dan mudah diatasi.
Tapi apa yang saya rasakan buat PHD didalam negara juga punya cabaran yang sangat besar, khususnya dalam membahagi-bagikan masa antara komitmen keluarga dan PHD research itu sendiri. Urusan keluarga sendiri dan keluarga sebelah mertua adalah sebahagian daripada perkara yang tidak dapat dielakan. Daripada kenduri kesyukuran, kenduri arwah, birthday party, kenduri kahwin dan sebagainya- semua perlu dihadiri. Itu belum lagi dengan proses mengumpul maklumat untuk kajian kes. Maklum sajalah- rasanya ramai yang sedar dan sinonim dengan tahap kerahsiaan maklumat yang ada. Semuanya "confidential".
Ringkasnya, setiap individu punya cabaran yang tersendiri. Destinasinya sama - segulung ijazah PHD, tapi laluannya berbeza. Semuanya perlukan pengorbanan yang mungkin tidak terjangkau fikiran semasa. Kepada Allah kita berserah dan panjatkan doa. Mudah-mudahan ada ganjaran yang menanti, jika tidak disini, disana pasti! InsyaAllah.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Aku mahu pulang
Perasaan hari ini bercampur baur. Terlalu gembira kerana saya akan pulang ke Mesia kepangkuan suami dan keluarga tercinta. Teruja untuk kembali ke tanahair dan menghirup udara Malaysia yang telah hampir setahun ditinggalkan. Tapi hati berbelah bagi memandangkan ada lagi kerja-kerja PHD yang masih belum selesai dan memerlukan perhatian. Supervisor juga masih menanti pembetulan kepada dokumen confirmation yang telah dibentangkan kepada panel kira-kira 2 minggu yang lalu. Walaupun mungkin pembetulan tersebut mengambil masa tidak lama, tetapi hati dan perasaan saya tidak boleh tertumpu pada kerja-kerja PHD semenjak hari pembentangan tersebut. Kali ini saya akan pulang dengan menggalas bebanan di bahu, kerana saya juga akan membuat kerja-kerja awal pengumpulan maklumat berkaitan dengan kajian PHD ini.
Setiap waktu saya berdoa, semoga Allah memudahkan urusan saya dan memandu saya dalam membuat apa jua keputusan. Saya serahkan kepadaNya, segala-galanya. Semua adalah ketentuanNya. Kita manusia hanya boleh merancang, tapi Dia yang menentukan segala-galanya.
Setiap waktu saya berdoa, semoga Allah memudahkan urusan saya dan memandu saya dalam membuat apa jua keputusan. Saya serahkan kepadaNya, segala-galanya. Semua adalah ketentuanNya. Kita manusia hanya boleh merancang, tapi Dia yang menentukan segala-galanya.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Michael Jackson - You Are Not Alone
This is one of my all time favourite song! Enjoy.
I am always here for you everyone my dear family and friends!!!.
Alhamdulillah, praise to Allah, the Almighty!!
Salam everyone! It's been a while since my last jottings. I may have a list of lame excuses - but I was truly a busy lady for the past couple of months. It was all because of my confirmaton of candidature (COC) which was due on the month 12 of my PHD candidature.
My COC seminar was held on the 5/5/2010. And before that, I need to submit my document to the faculty and obviously series of meetings with my beloved supervisors! And making the situation even worse, I fall sick just before the seminar itself. I was down with a high fever, running nose, thumping headache, annoying coughs, sorethroat and a very heavy and painful period. And those have made me to stay in bed, doing nothing (apart form worrying about the COC itself) for at least 3 solid days.
Alhamdulillah, the presentation went well. Thanks to Allah and I owe my husband and my parents much for this success as well. I've been ringing them at almost every hour before the presentation. I asked them to pray for me and they did performed solat hajat for me too. My friends were also very supportive. With their continuous emotional support and of course with Allah's will, I have managed to come this far.
And the journey has just begun. It will be another 2 years of undulating journey and bumpy rides. I remember they always say- it will be a bigger mountain afer the coc. And I will need to climb again, slowly and steadily.
In short, Alhamdulillah!
My COC seminar was held on the 5/5/2010. And before that, I need to submit my document to the faculty and obviously series of meetings with my beloved supervisors! And making the situation even worse, I fall sick just before the seminar itself. I was down with a high fever, running nose, thumping headache, annoying coughs, sorethroat and a very heavy and painful period. And those have made me to stay in bed, doing nothing (apart form worrying about the COC itself) for at least 3 solid days.
Alhamdulillah, the presentation went well. Thanks to Allah and I owe my husband and my parents much for this success as well. I've been ringing them at almost every hour before the presentation. I asked them to pray for me and they did performed solat hajat for me too. My friends were also very supportive. With their continuous emotional support and of course with Allah's will, I have managed to come this far.
And the journey has just begun. It will be another 2 years of undulating journey and bumpy rides. I remember they always say- it will be a bigger mountain afer the coc. And I will need to climb again, slowly and steadily.
In short, Alhamdulillah!
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