Rambling -Part 1

I don't know how shall I start this post. Today is exactly a month I did not see my husband since he left me for Malaysia (he was here for the Eid celebration). I have never expected that this separation is so painful especially at this point of my life where I am really in need of an emotional support. Being away from him is the biggest challenge that I need to face in this lonely journey and I have to admit, it is really hard and sometimes unbearable.

Being separated was not in our plans in the beginning when I first decided to further my study in Australia. Initially, he was supposed to resign from his present job and be with me in Brisbane. Unfortunately, due to some unforeseen matters and the hiccups in the Australian economy, we changed our plans. He will still continue working in Malaysia - at least for another year and we will only meet occasionally (either I go back to Malaysia or he flies to Brisbane).

We have been married for about 7 years now. Since day one of our marriage, he has been my greatest company and my best(est)buddy ever. What's more important--he will always be there whenever I need a shoulder to cry on and he never let me down. He taught me to always see things in a positive way and never ever underestimate the power of others. He is a kind hearted person and maybe due to that he is always loved by many especially his family and friends. We have never been separated for this long. Although he maybe just a phone call away - I really miss him. His voice does not able to stop the pain. I miss his presence, his face, his jokes, his voice, his smell, his warmth, his huggs .. basically his everything. I miss HIM dearly!!!!

To Abang- your absence has made my heart grew fonder. Love you always.

Oh Allah, please forgive me and please give me strength to face the challenges of this lonely journey.

I wrote the following poem about 3 months ago (and I am still coping living without him)

Baru 3 bulan kulalui
Tiap detik menghitung hari
Namun perjalanan ini masih jauh lagi
Allah saja yang Maha mengetahui
Betapa sunyi dan sepi
Kadang-kadang kosongnya hati
Jiwa merana tak terperi

Takut, bimbang, keluh, kesah perlu diharungi -sendiri
Sakit, pening, lenguh, penat perlu ubati- sendiri
Tak faham? Tak jumpa? Stuck?Confuse?Blur? -kena settle –sendiri
Gerun nak meeting supervisor – rasa sendiri
Lampu rosak, mentol terbakar, sinki tersumbat, urusan bil - sendiri
Balik sekolah malam- lari2 -sendiri
Lapar?Dahaga - pandai2 lah masak sendiri

Bila kanda tiada disisi
Semangat adinda sang isteri
Seperti roda tak bertali
Kadang digunung kadang dikali

Oh suami..
Rindu, kasih tidak bertepi
Cinta, sayang menggunung tinggi
Terbayang kenangan indah hanya dalam mimpi
Airmata yang jadi saksi
Terlalu banyak yang mengalir dipipi
Ibarat kata orang “berbaldi-baldi”
Kalaulaaa boleh digambarkan macam dalam movie
Memang sungguh tragis bunyi

Tapi aku tabahkan hati
Demi cita-cita diri
Agama dan family
Harapan menggunung dari suami
Kerajaan dan universiti
Pelajar, rakan pensyarah dan dekan fakulti
Aku akan berlari, berlari dan terus kencang berlari
Selagi nafas belum berhenti
Bersama doa tak putus-putus dipanjatkan kepada Ilahi
Semoga halangan dapat direntasi
Semoga gunung dapat didaki
Semoga lautan dapat direnangi
Semoga kejayaan yang menanti
Dimanafaatkan dan menggembirakan semua hati
Ohhhhhhh...... PHD!!!!!!

MoonQUT, BRISBANE,
MAY 2009

THE OCTIES CLAN

October celebrates birthdays of many people close to me especially my cium mulut buddies -Elid, Cha and Fizzie. I will never forget their birthdays as the dates are near to mine. I would like to take this opportunity to wish them a very Happy Birthday - my dear friends - Elida (20th), Fizzie (26th) and Cha (28th). And I dedicate this song (Hero by Mariah Carey) to them- (with a hope that the "hero" spirit will always remain in their hearts). I remember singing this song as a duet with Cha on our 23rd birthday - way back in 1996 when we did our undergraduate degree in Cardiff. It was one of the autumn nights in October - when we had a birthday bash in our rented double storey house at 53, Lower Cathedral Road, Riverside, Cardiff CF18LW. It was an all-gals party and we had a lot of fun all nite long. We prepared the so called dinner by ourselves (my mee sembarang?) and baked the birthday cakes (kudos to fizzie and yus). All of us were dressed up for the dinner and we had a karaoke session and video watching in the end. Thanks to Anim for her mini karaoke Aiwa HiFi. And as usual- Anim's favourite song will be one of Awie's ballad slow rock collection.... and she will sing them to her fullest voice with her unique hand gestures. We would end up at Yus/Fizzie's bedroom watching some Malay dramas (thanks to Yus' family for sending some of the popular Malay drama vidoe tapes). Arrgghhh- those were the days. Here I am boring all of you with my reminiscences.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVhrIfaPKxw

And "Happy Birthday" too to Dr Hafazah, Faeez, Ana, Rodzi, Kak Azlina, Aslam, Ejin, La, Riza, Bee, Azizul <-- thanks to Facebook for the reminder, and please excuse me if I forgot to include your names.

Fear Free Presentation

A workshop on Fear- Free Presentation

I attended a workshop on Fear-Free presentation organised jointly by the BEE Faculty and IEEE (Institute of Electrical and Electronic Engineers) on Tuesday-20/20/09. It was held at 5.30pm at S Block, Level 12. It was a bit dull and boring in the beginning and I had a thought of leaving the room halfway through the workshop. I find it most of the contents of the presentation were just some common sense. Fortunately, the introduction did not last long before the refreshment. We were served with some sandwiches and drinks -coffee/juices/soft drinks but I just had the latter. After after some refreshment, the speaker managed to get us connected to his presentation somehow. We were all asked to stand up for some speech therapy, vocal training and facial muscle practice and that was when I suddenly feel enthusiastic about the workshop. (and maybe it could due to some caffeine recharge as well).

Basically - what I want to share is that, there is a recipe for a fear free presentation.

And here is the ingridients;

The script

The warmup
The arrival scene
The presentation scene
The question and answer scene
The leaving scene

And some vocal traning too;

Vocal range Many marvellous men make much money from my motorbike
Painful Patrick pushed purposefully past Peter and the paranoid parishioners
Father’s famous
Bastard Barry
The yahoo yabbies
Willy woefully washed
Valerie values
Randy Roger Ramjet

And some projection exercise;

Those old boats don’t float

And some facial exercise;

Neck isolations : Look up, look down, look right, look left, look diagonal
Neck stretch: Look right 20 secs, Look left 20 secs., Up and over and right 20 secs, ditto left, Out and down and right, Out and down and left, Up and back and right, ditto left. Jaw release. Palms at side of jaw and pull down; open jaw, drop bottom jaw even further down then release
Face massage: All over

(thanks to Mr Barry O'sullivan for a very fruitful session).

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY

18 OCTOBER

Today is my birthday. While some would prefer to have a bash and celebration on their birthdays, I would like to remember this date as a day of me being another year older (and supposedly, wiser). It is probably the best time for introspection and evaluation to what I have achieved and yet to achieve in my life. I am so grateful to Him as He has showered me with His loves and blessings. I am also thankful to my beloved hubby, family and friends for their duas and well wishes. I am overwhelmed.

More importantly, this is also the day which tells that the "day" is nearing. Every second counts and later I will be questioned on how well did I spent my time. I should always remind and ask myself- "how prepared am I?" or maybe "how much have I prepared?".

Happy birthday to me!!

note: This is the first time I prepared my birthday cake. It was not bad at all. A choc and walnut brownie.

The PHD Journey-Part 1

The moment I feel like writing about a PHD, I simply know that there will be no end. The interpretation of "what is a PHD" is too vast, depending on which angle one looks at. One could look at it as a process, a journey, an odyssey or maybe as a product. The real acronym for PHD is Doctor of Philosophy but some create an acronym out of their own perspective and (maybe experience) -PHD as Permanent Head Damage, Piled Higher and Deeper, Pakar Hal Dapur (domestic kitchen expert), Planning, Dua and Hardwork and etc.

To me the journey of getting a PHD is just another stage of my life. PHD is just another process of knowledge exploration in this world which there is no end. Also, I see my commitment in this PHD journey as another responsibility given by Allah the Almighty as His servant in this world. And I (must) and am exceptionally grateful for this as I have been chosen among the many.

I took this from my friend's blog which is worth to relate to my present situation.

Embarking a research. ...

TEN POINTS FOR US TO PONDER …………...Why we do Phd?
To ponder…to ponder… (and always ponder)


POINT ONE
•IF... Our aim to get promotion later, we may be frustrated IF we don’t get it.

POINT TWO
•IF…To get the title "Dr", we might feel SAD IF people don’t call us Dr.


POINT THREE
•IF ...To get extra self-esteem… we may not be happy IF people don’t respect our opinions.

POINT FOUR
• IF... To be a learned person….NOBLE AIM but it may be a waste IF we don’t practice what we found in the research.


POINT FIVE
•IF... To be an expert.. maybe a wise move BUT become redundant IF people NEVER refer to US.

POINT SIX
•IF.. To find proof, truth and rationale only…BUT WE CAN’T FIND …... may be “Pertinent headaches” set in.

POINT SEVEN
•IF ..doing PHD ..so that we can do our quantitative analysis THEN, IF TYPE I error could not be rectified… may be we could get a real ‘Phd’(Permanent Head Damage)

POINT EIGHT
•IF WE want to be RICH or SUPER RICH might as well learn from BILL GATES

POINT NINE
•IF we want TO be FAMOUS…wrong industry..may be Hollywood or Bollywood would be the right industry

POINT TEN
•BUT IF FOR ALLAH”S SAKE…ALL THE WAY TO PHD’s SCROL WITH LOTS OF GOOD REWARDS(PAHALA) FROM ALLAH S.W.T . InsyaAllah.

(Time to reflect and correct OUR INTENTION... )

source : http://www.puziahmad.blogspot.com/

Menuntut Ilmu

I love this so much... and would like to share this with all of you especially my friends who are doing their PHD research in overseas!! I know the journey is not always easy.



Bukanlah tinggal tetap itu rehat bagi orang yang berakal dan berbudi,
Maka tinggalkanlah kampung halamanmu dan pergilah mengembara,
Merantaulah!
Pasti akan kau temui pengganti mereka yang kau tinggalkan dan berusaha keraslah,
Sesungguhnya kemanisan hidup hanya ada dalam usaha yang bersungguh-sungguh,
Sesungguhnya aku melihat air menjadi cemar kerana tidak mengalir,
Andai ia mengalir, pasti elok keadaannya dan andai ia bertakung, nescaya cemar jadinya..


Imam Shafie..
(source: http://www.afidalina.blogspot.com/)

LDP 2 - The English Class

English Language Class

I attended a Language Development Programme (LDP) class this morning. Each session, held on every Tuesday morning, would normally last for almost 3 hours. We were taught by an English speaking Italian lady - Mrs Karyn Gonano who is very enthusiastic about writing succinctly in the academic world. Karyn's lectures focus on the right methods and techniques to successfully write our confirmation document.

Having been born in Malaysia, in a small kampung (with some Javanese blood), and in a low middle class family, I have to admit that my grasp of English language is at a minimum. I know a few friends whose English are excellent but their family background are far different from mine. (Or maybe some who are in the same boat with me, they would have read tonnes and tonnes of novels, watched hours of English TV series or maybe listened to thousands of English songs to be able to be at where they are now). I maybe fortunate enough since I have lived in the UK for about four years and did both my degree and postgraduate degree there. But I still need to improve a lot especially with my writing. English is indeed a peculiar language with so many grammatical rules, but irritatingly, so many exceptions to these rules. I think one can only master the language with a consistent persistence, dedication or otherwise, reaching a such flawlessness in English is almost impossible.

I used to write in a passive voice. And maybe that was the way I was taught many many years ago when I was in school. Maybe I was also influenced by my British lecturers as well during my undergraduate days. I love to read a well written and beautiful text with a flamboyant language and that may also contribute to my writing style . Also I was taught that, writing with a passive voice will make your text sounds more formal. But maybe that is no longer relevant today! The 21st century demands things to move quickly. The world is running and everything need to be quick. And in the present academic world - you need to write in an active voice so that you as the author will sound more authoritative and your writing will sound stronger. I also remember my supervisor reminds me during one of our meetings, writing is like music and mathematics - it has to be composed.

To end the session, Karyn asked everyone of us to make a short presentation related to our research in front of the class. It was a wonderful experience to see people from all sorts of cultures, from different corners of the globe, with different disciplines and backgrounds are committed with their research. As Karyn always remind us in her class "how are you going to save the planet?"
(hmm.. how am going to save the planet?).


note; a new vocab - Chilax = Chill + Relax.

ABOUT ME

MY SELF

I am not-a-so-young-gal who was born in a small kampung in a district of Pontian, Johor about 35 years ago. I was schooling at SK Seri Jaya, Benut for my primary and later to MRSM Muar for my secondary. After my SPM, I went to PPP/ITM Shah Alam for my A-Levels. I did both my degree in city and regional planning and my postgraduate degree in Cardiff University, Wales.

I was an adventuress when I was young but my interest changes as I aged. Now my interest is directed towards a more relaxed activities like reading, travelling--(sightseing mostly), all kitchen-related activities (cooking, baking, BBQ-ing), and more importantly, making myself closer to Allah -the Almighty.

MY RESEARCH

I am presently in my 7th month of my PHD research in a School of Urban Development, Faculty of Built Environment and Engineering, QUT, Brisbane, Australia. My research investigates the relationship between urban planning and global economic changes. The shift in global economy towards a Knowledge Based Economy (K-economy) has brought a significant impact(s) towards our socio-spatial order. The K-economy demands a new set of urban management policies since (it has been proven) that the normative urban planning has failed to provide. As our society becomes increasingly knowledge based, the nature of city development also changes because activities in the knowledge sector are becoming more important and they require conditions and environments which are very different from those required by the community-based activities which are declining.

The research looks at a new paradigm in urban planning ie. Knowledge Based Urban Development (KBUD) which is seen as a potentially beneficial set of instruments in order to improve the quality, welfare and competitiveness of cities. This research develops a framework within the sphere of urban planning to foster KBUD in order to equip cities to be more competitive in facing the challenges of the global era.

MY FAMILY

I am the eldest in the family. I have 2 younger sisters and 3 younger brothers. My father was a teacher (now retired) while my mom is a fulltime housewife. All of my sibilings have grown up and are making their own careers [medical practitioner-engineers-agricultural officer and land surveyor in the making].

I am married to a very understanding and charming man for almost 8 years now. And I am so grateful for having him as my husband. He is such a hubby and all I can say is that - he really completes me! We have no children yet (will not give up) and we adore kids very much. Our three little nieces - (Sara, Safiyah and Zara) and two little nephews (Hadif and Hilman) are our little angles.


MY CAREER

I was a town planner for almost 4 years afer I graduated. I have joined 2 reputable private planning consultancy firms which both had offered me a totally different experience related to urban planning which range from plan making to policy formulation. 4 years of working experience may not be long enough to be a fully fledged town planner but I seriously think that it is divine and worth sharing the knowledge and experience with others. So, I have changed my career to be a lecturer in urban planning, and since then there is no regret. I love every seconds of my new career and after all being a lecturer is my childhood dream.

MY 1st POST

Salam and greeting to all!!

Today marks the day of my first engagement to blogging. It is the month of October and it is the month which I was born. I wish to record my emotions, observations and experiences in a diary but since it is the era of a digital world - a blog seems to be the best platform for this. At the same time, I think it is also worth to share some of my ideas with others.